Values & Stress

It’s no secret that the Culture within the military is pretty different from general American Culture, but most people don’t understand what it actually takes to turn a young adult into an effective soldier. It’s not easy. They must share similar Values with their teammates. Learn to work together. Align with a new collective identity. Be able to endure and thrive under great stress. 

 One of the questions I ask every employer is how do they encourage or enforce their companies’ Culture and Values? Some have answered in confused muddled messes. Some think that just saying their Values speak for themself is enough. Finding or cultivating a group around you with shared Values can be a lifelong endeavor. It’s not enough to just stake claim to a set of ideas, you must live it out, let it show in every action. Encourage & coach those around you to strive for similar ideals or intentionally, maybe obsessively, seek out groups that align with your ideals.

If we cannot agree on why we’re coming together, then there’s no point in working together. No one joins the military for the same reasons. I had a friend in Basic Training that never knew when or if he could get a hot meal his whole childhood. Joining the military was the first time he knew he would have 3 hot meals a day. Another joined because his father was a veteran that died when he was young. Being in the military felt like the only way to be close to his father or continue his father’s legacy. I had aspirations of patriotism. A dream that I could be a hero in some small way. Honestly, I just didn’t know what else to do with myself at the time.

The military has to take these diverse chaotic reasons for signing the dotted line and somehow make it feel like we all had the same reason all along. Mama and apple pie, the American way, duty and justice. The military gives us a new purpose. We go in as one thing and come out another. Our new purpose is to look out for each other. Act with Integrity first, Service before self, and Excellence in all we do. We just happen to be really good at taking orders and delivering on the X.

For how the military accomplishes this, it’s not quite as romantic or fun. Acting outside of these new values gets you punished, in one way or another. It may be a reprimand, court martial, failure to adapt discharge, or the cold backs and sideways glances of your teammates. Upholding the values only gets you one thing, a seat at the table, acceptance.

What really brings it all together though is the stress. Having to stick true to any set of values and perform under pressure is difficult. It’s so easy to give yourself excuses, cave-in, give up. Luckily, the military doesn’t really give trainees a choice. Constantly surrounded by eyes. Forced to march forward by the people to your side, front, and behind you. If you don’t act right or perform, it will affect everyone around you. Stress, difficult times in general, is the forge for character. We are molded by blunt traumas, then tempered to last the test of time.

Stress is a tool. It’s not something to shy away from or self soothe through. Through much of the training I endured, being pushed to my limits and stressed, is what made me effective in real world scenarios. There is no good training for how to react when you get stabbed, or when you see a friend get hurt. You can train yourself to endure the stress of it though. To keep a level head and clear eyes, even though your heart is racing 160 beats per minute.

Throughout my journey of starting Honey Badger Defense, I’ve had to wrestle with the ideas of how my values and the concept of stress play a role in the way I train people. I don’t want to transmit my traumas to others. Make them anxious about crowded rooms, slow driving cars, or hidden hands. I want to empower people to make the best, most appropriate choices during a crisis. Give them tools and experience to be truly confident in their own safety. At the end of the day, being stressed in a training setting is a lot better than being stressed while at the wrong end of a knife.